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♥ trying to find myself again ♥
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[Mon, Jun 18th, 2007 at 9:34pm
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So I'm still working full time. Evan finally got another job. Not that he wasn't looking this whole time, just nothing was coming through. He actually got 3 job offers within 36 hours. Kinda funny really.
Big big news:
MADDIE IS 98% POTTY TRAINED!!! I say 98% b/c she still refuses to go stinky in either potty at our apartment. She'll go at my parent's house, but for some reason... it REALLY freaks her out. Anyway, the peeing is NO problem at all. She got that part literally over night. In fact, I just decided that I was tired of buying and changing diapers. Since she's almost 3, I decided it was well time. I told her there would be no more diapers, just big girl panties. I told her to let me know when she needed to pee & we'd go run to the potty. She had 2 very small accidents. But within 3 hours she told me she needed to potty and went by herself. She has trouble pulling down her shorts and panties so she's been running around in just a t-shirt around the house/apartment. LoL. And big girl panties when we go out in public. She's doing SO GOOD with it. I'm so proud.
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| C'mon guys.... |
[Sun, Jan 29th, 2006 at 8:47pm
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Everyone go to this link and vote for the cutest mommy/baby pair. I entered a pic of me & maddie, but it looks all pixely and crappy. Oh well. The contest won't end until there are 50 votes and I want a new one to start. You don't have to be logged in or if you want you can post anonymously. And put in it "lilstarofdesire sent me" so that I get 5 votes for every one vote that says that
SO... GO VOTE...
http://community.livejournal.com/gorgeousbabies/8866.html
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| Ladies.... |
[Thu, Oct 13th, 2005 at 8:13pm
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Eek! This is kinda scary. My friend posted it on MySpace... but it's worthy of posting on here too...
State police warning for online: Please read this "very carefully"...then send it out to all the people online that you know. Something like this is nothing to be taken casually; this is something you DO want to pay attention to. Think of it as a bit of advice too. If a person with the screen-name of "DiveIntoMyHaneZ" contacts you, do not reply. DO NOT talk to this person; DO NOT answer any of his/her instant messages or e-mail. Whoever this person may be, he/she is a suspect for murder in the death of 56 women(so far) contacted through the Internet. Please send this to all the women on your buddy list and ask them to pass this on, as well. This screen-name was seen on Yahoo, AOL, AIM, and Excite so far. This is not a joke! Please send this to men too...just in case! Send to everyone you know! Ladies, this is serious. IF YOU KNOW THIS PERSON CALL THE NUM BELOW TO TURN HIM IN!!!!
Jennifer S. Faulkner Education/Information Specialist Roanoke Fire-EMS 541 Luck Avenue, Suite 120 Roanoke, VA 24016
(540) 853-2257 (phone)
(540) 853-1172 (fax)
after you read it repost it out.....
take care and dont be a victim
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[Mon, Jul 18th, 2005 at 5:34am
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interesting... some parts I think are true. Others I don't really agree with, but it made me think...
The Keys to Your Heart
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You are attracted to good manners and elegance. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. |
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
Your Birthdate: February 18 |
Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity.
There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself.
You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator.
You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas.
Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed.
There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others.
Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give. |
| Overall, Your Observation Skills Get: B- |  Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time)
And it takes something big to distract you! |
| Your Power Color Is Red-Orange | 
At Your Highest:
You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.
At Your Lowest:
You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.
In Love:
You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.
How You're Attractive:
You are very affectionate and inspire trust.
Your Eternal Question:
"Am I Respected?" |
| You Are Strawberry Ice Cream |  A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.
You often find yourself on the outside looking in.
Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.
You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream. |
You Are 24 Years Old |
24
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
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my knee hurts and i'm exhausted. must sleep. night.
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[Sun, Jun 5th, 2005 at 3:32pm
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Yesterday I went & got my hair cut. :) Then I played with Maddie for awhile & went to the hospital to see Grandmother. She's doing better than she originally was. Her speech isn't quite as slurred & she can eat/shallow. THANK GOODNESS. She still can't lift her left leg or arm, but she can bend her knee & move her foot. And she can grasp things with her left hand. That makes me feel a little better. They don't expect her to be able to walk again though. Which sucks. But it could be a lot worse.
After I left the hospital my cousin Carol took me to Starbucks for a mint chocolate chip frappacino. YUMMM. Then I called my phone & Evan finally answered so I went & got my phone. He held me for awhile & then I went & took Madison out to Michael's. Then I went to Evan's again. We decided to go to Keesha's party to get my mind off of it. A few ppl from work were there & a crapload of ppl that I didn't know. I saw a few ppl that I hadn't seen for awhile... like Kristy who was so drunk she didn't recognize me. And then Damien walked out on the front porch. I stood up & was nice & introduced him to Evan... but he acted like he had no clue who I really was. No big loss there though. The damage was done WAY too long ago & I'll never even attempt to fix it. Fucking hypocrite. Sorry. That's my opinion though, so deal with it. =P Anyways, Keesha & I had a *drunken* heart to heart. She & I have become pretty close at work & last night was when I realized how good of a friend she really is. Not many ppl would've done what she did & I gained a LOT of respect for her. We stayed until Evan sobered up enough to drive. Then he took me to IHOP b/c I hadn't eaten the day before. I've been having a lot of trouble getting food down. I take 2-3 bites & it feels like it's going to come right back up. It's nerves I know, but I'm pretty weak. It doesn't help that I'm *still* on the rag (I started May 20th) & REALLY heavy. My iron level was at 10 when I went to the doctor this week (it's supposed to be 12 to be "healthy"). Anemia sucks. =( But I have to go back to the doctor on Thursday to see why I'm still bleeding so heavy. Blah. After we went to IHOP we went back to Evan's & he played with my hair until I fell asleep. His bed is *THE* most comfortable bed. *content sigh*
Today I got up & went to get Madison. Michael & I stood outside & talked. He was telling me that it's really hard on him not to be around his family (me & Maddie) & that he can tell from the way I look at him that I still love him. Of course I do, he's the father of our child. He says that he knows that we'll eventually get back together & that he loves me so much that he's willing to wait as long as it takes. I told him that I don't expect him to do that b/c I know that right now I can't be with him. I told him that I do still love him, I'm just not ready for what he wants. It'll work out however it's supposed to & I'm not going to worry about it... or try to anyway.
But I've got to go back to the hospital. I'm supposed to go get a drink with Becky tonight. But the later it gets the more hung over I feel. ICK. But anyways, update more when I can. I probably won't be around too much for awhile. Grandmother is going to be in the hospital for a few more days & then they want her to go to a rehab center & then she can come home. But we have to do some stuff to the house so she can be here. They said it's going to be a really slow recovery, that we won't start seeing her be "herself" again for several months. Apparently depression hits really hard after a stroke. Along with that it's so strenous on your body that it just takes awhile to get any sort of strength back. *sigh* Gotta stop thinking about this...
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[Sat, Jun 4th, 2005 at 11:56am
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Sarah...
Hey sweetie. Thank you so much for coming over yesterday to be with me. It really means a lot to me. <3
I know you said you'd call me before you came over, but I've kinda got a problem... Evan has my phone. He accidently picked it up last night when he was leaving my house. He also has the carseat. =| Which sucks b/c I have stuff that I need to get done. My brother is on his way over here so that he can babysit for me while I go get my hair cut. But I don't have my phone for you to call me. So, if you want to, call the house... you should still have the number. or I hope you do anyway.
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[Wed, May 4th, 2005 at 3:45am
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Who could not love this smile??? *melts*
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[Wed, Dec 29th, 2004 at 1:42am
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This Christmas was definately one to remember. I got the best gift in the whole world, realizing exactly how much I love my family.
The day before Christmas Eve, I was at work & I got this really weird feeling. I thought maybe I was just hungry, but after my break it just got worse. It wasn't like a sick feeling, it was more like I knew something bad was going to happen. I asked my manager if I could call my mom really quick to let her know that I was going to stay late to help them close. When I got ahold of Mom, she was crying. She told me that my brother & sister were iced in & wouldn't be able to come down for Christmas. Christmas is a BIG deal to my family, we'd never spent it apart... and it's the ONLY time that my family ever gets a chance to sit down and enjoy a meal as a family. Yeah my siblings come visit a lot, but my brother never EVER goes out to eat with us or even sits with us at dinner, he's always on the computer. LoL. Anyways, I got off the phone & looked at Sarah & started crying. I went back out on the floor to finish cleaning my section. My manager came over & asked if I was okay & if I needed a cigg. So I took the trash out while I smoked it. I went back in & Elana came over to me & told me that she was sorry I was upset. Then she said, "If it makes you feel any better, I haven't seen my family in 3 years. My parents were supposed to come from Romania to see me in Jan. but my dad is sick. My brother has been saving up to come too, but it's just so expensive. The only family I have here is my husband. I know you're upset, but at least you have part of your family." I really like her, she's probably my favorite person at work (aside from Sarah of course :p)... I talk to her at work all the time & we usually work the same hours so I see her a fair amount. Anyways, I came home, played with Madison & then convinced Michael to open our presents from his dad & step-mom. They sent us some souveniers from the Carribean (they went on a cruise for their anniversary). They gave me a sweater with a cute scarf that matches, some lotion, pouperi (however the hell it's spelled), really soft socks, a jar of old fashion candy, & chapstick. They sent Michael 2 shirts & some other stuff. They sent Madison 3 outfits. They also sent us stockings. Michael had said they'd send gifts, but he told me that we'd be getting $20 gift cards to JC Penny (b/c that's where his step-mom works)... so I was really surprised. :p
Christmas Eve I slept in a little. I woke up at 12:30. I had to go to the bank to cash my paycheck so I could buy Newports. lol. But I figured the bank closed at noon, so I was a little bummed out. Dad told me to go deposit my check into his account & then get some cash out so I could get some other stuff too. Michael got in from work when I was backing out of the driveway. So he went with me. We got to the bank & they were still open! I still deposited my check though. I went to Kroger & got some sour cream for my mom & some baby food. The reality of it being Christmas Eve & my siblings not being here started to sink in. I started getting pretty upset again. I went & bought some candles & went home & helped Mom finish up some cooking. Michael gave Madison a bath while I was in the shower & then I got her ready. I gave Michael, Mom, Daddy, & Grandmother their presents from me. We went to my cousin's house & it was SO FREAKING COLD! Everytime I wanted a cigg, I sat inside the car with it cranked. LoL. My cousin Sarah absolutely ADORES Madison, she played with us all night. We left there kinda early b/c we were going to go to Midnight Mass with Matthew. We pull up to my house & get out of the car to go inside. I hear a dog yipping. About that time my mom screams "WHAT IN THE WORLD??!!!" I walk in the door to see my brother, sister, Demon, Gabe, & Casey. I hugged my sister & started crying. We got so excited about them being able to come, that we went ahead and opened all of the presents. Then Madison got tired, so she took a nap. While she took a nap, SANTA CAME! It was actually kinda funny b/c RIGHT Santa finished setting out her stuff, she woke up. She played for awhile & then around 2 I stuck in a Barney tape to start calming her down b/c she was hyper, very hyper. LoL. I was talking to my grandmother (who is usually in bed by midnight) & we were laughing, watching Madison. I asked grandmother, "So how does it feel to watch your great granddaughter have her first Christmas?" She didn't answer me, so I glanced over at her. *sigh* I knew right away why she hadn't answered, she was having a seizure. Right there infront of me. I screamed for my sister, who had just gone to bed. She & dad sat there with grandmother, trying to keep her conscience after that. I called an ambulance. They came & checked her out- the only thing that was wrong was her blood pressure was high. They left & about 10 minutes later she started throwing up again. I went & woke up Michael b/c I was crying really hard. He cuddled me & told me how much he loves me & told me that my grandmother needed me to be strong for her b/c she was just as scared as me. Grandmother started feeling better & said she was going to bed. I told her I'd help her change b/c she was really shakey. My sister & I were helping her when she told me she was about to get sick. I turned to get her a bowl & she started having another seizure. I called 911 again & they took her to the ER.
I'm not really sure when they got back, but they ran a bunch of tests & everything came back normal. The doctors had said that it wasn't a big deal to bring her home since she was ok...
madison's crying, type more later
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[Sat, Sep 18th, 2004 at 4:21pm
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I AM 28% ASSHOLE/BITCH!  I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me. |
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| LoL |
[Wed, Sep 15th, 2004 at 8:16pm
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[Thu, Jul 1st, 2004 at 7:02pm
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Before I go eat dinner, just thought I'd share...
( boredom )
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[Mon, Jun 28th, 2004 at 9:25am
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Other than great sadness & shock, few words can describe how I feel right now. My mom woke me up about 6 this morning to tell me that one of my really good friends from High School, Jeremy, was killed in a car accident. The funeral is today, but I haven't been able to go back to sleep since she told me & I can already barely see the computer screen... so I don't think it's a good idea for me to try to drive up for the funeral. =|
I don't really know much more than the article in the paper says, & highly doubt anyone that reads this will know... especially since only like 2 maybe 3 of you guys went to high school with me. Louis, I'm pretty sure you know him, but not positive... remember Kristy the drummer? Well, it's who she went to Prom with senior year... and before that Jeremy & Nicole Celmer were together for like 2 or 3 years.
Gosh, like I said, I don't even know where to start with how I feel. I feel like there's gotta be some mistake somewhere... that I'm going to wake up in a few minutes & realize it was all a dream & that Jeremy is still alive & I can call him or something... but then I realize that isn't going to happen & I'm just overcome with emotions that aren't setting too well with me. If anyone is interested, here's the link:
http://www.legacy.com/atlanta/LegacySubPage2.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=2366261
*clicks on the link again, in disbelief, hoping that something will change*
*eyes fill up with tears again*
Please keep his family in your prayers, I can only imagine what they're going through.
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| why not? |
[Fri, Jun 18th, 2004 at 9:06pm
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mood |
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 happy |
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What Would You do if..?
I cried:
I asked you to help:
I died from natural causes:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got in a fight and you were there:
I got pregnent: Impregnated a girl:
I got dumped:
What Do You Think Of My..?
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Voice:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Body:
Would You..?
Spread rumors about me:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Hold my hand:
Take a bullet for me:
Keep in touch:
Love me:
Have Sex with me:
Ditch me:
Use me:
Date me:
Beat me up:
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[Mon, May 24th, 2004 at 5:48pm
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gone to canton for the night. be back in the morning. been running around all day with my phone charging in the car. dr appointment was good. more details later.
SARAH- I will call you back after I eat dinner. :) *muwahs*
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[Tue, Apr 13th, 2004 at 2:32pm
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posting this on the public view too b/c I'm pretty sure whoever it is, isn't someone on my friend's list.
If you're the person that keeps calling me between the hours of 1-3am, please call earlier. I have no clue who you are since you don't leave a message, but I'm getting really sick of hearing my phone ring while I'm *trying* to sleep... have a little respect. thanksomuch.
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[Fri, Mar 26th, 2004 at 8:40pm
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Does anyone know whose # this is? It looks familiar and they just called me, talking to me like they know me... but i couldn't place the voice. 770-912-1321
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[Mon, Mar 15th, 2004 at 7:59pm
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BECKY! I LOST THE ADDRESS! FOR SHORTY! LoL... I know it's around somewhere, but i can't find it. If I forget to ask you later, PLEASE remind me. or email it to me. I LOVE YOU
to everyone else, this is my new favorite song:
Oceanlab feat Justine Sussia - Satellite
My love is like first steps in this snow, baby,
I follow you everywhere you go, baby.
The pain as light has come to wake you
But you will never realize
That I inspire the dreams that guide you baby.
I follow the winds that bring the cold, baby,
I light a fire in your soul, baby.
The lightest touch of feathers falling
My love might be invisible
But I inspire the dreams that guide you, baby
You're a half a world away
But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.
And before you sleep at night
You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.
Your singing satellite
You say a prayer
You say a prayer
You're a half a world away
But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.
And before you sleep at night
You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.
You're a half a world away
But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.
And before you sleep at night
You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.
*tear*
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